Memories are Forever

Well, it's official...we're moving. I'm so grateful we have family that is so willing to help and let us move in with them. I think this will really help our family get on it's feet and move towards better things. Why am I writing this on Emma's blog...because we moved here the week she was born. Wow, was it a whirl wind. Family and friends came together and helped so that when Emma came home from the hopital she would have a comfortable place to recover. Everyone was so amazing. So, I guess that's why I'm a little sad to leave this house. All my memories of Emma are here and even though I believe she'll live a long life there's always that little "what if" in the back of my head. I think it's my way of dealing when things don't go the way I've planned, I like to be prepared so if I've played all the scenarios in my head then I can prepare for how I'd deal with it. So, here's my what if...what if we move and I loose her. Will I be able to handle letting go of something so tangible. I know this has never been our house but it's been our home. I've had half of my large family here. I brought Emma home from the hospital to recover 4 times here. I've watched her struggle for life and win here. I've watched her learn to roll over, crawl, and amazingly walk here- right after having surgeries. I've watched the everyday miracles that support her life here. I feel like I'm going to forget somehow. I know it will all be there when I need it. I know that if I'm doing what's right I will have the memories and tangible evidence of her life but my weak mind always has to ask what if. So, I've decided that in leaving maybe I can let go of some of the hurt that came with watching her struggle and take with me the joys of watching her win her battles and have given me strength in her strength. I'm going to try and take pictures of some of the things she does here right now just to remember. Here's one of her on the computer. She can actually navigate through sites and play games for hours. I love it cause it keeps her calm and her brain working. She has a tendancy to over do it because she has such a desire to be active, she doesn't like to sit and watch tv. I love her zest but sometimes she just needs to slow down. What a cutie!