Emma's Dr. Appointment

Emma had an appointment about a week ago. We found out her results the day before but he went more in depth with me at the appointment. I took a lot of pics but here's just a couple. She has the stickers from the EKG on her fingers in the first...she finds something creative to do with them every time we go. Usually she makes a person out of them but we did nails this day. I got mine done to, blue is back. The next pic is her and Dr. Kanakriyeh. It was a good appointment. A lot of things he said to me were hard to hear. It was like I was hearing them for the first time. I think that we hear things when we are ready to handle them. When you have a child born with disabilities you put up a defense and I've had a lot of denial. I've always look at Emma's heart problem as something that can be fixed. I've always been looking for the solution, thinking after we get through this it will be normal. I had a hard reality hit sitting in that office. It was like they were telling me for the first time that my daughter was disabled. All this time I looked at her broken heart like a broken leg...it just needed time to heal. Fix this, fix that and everything will be normal again. What a wake up call. I asked alot of questions about the future. I believe without any doubt that if Heavenly Father wanted her heart to be healed it would be healed in an instant. I know that my prayers are heard and answered. I also know that Heavenly Father gives us trials and sometimes we have to live with them our whole lives. Whatever Emma's future hold I know it's in the Lords hands and I've let go of trying to fix it. Sooooo....I don't think I've really come out and said the results of her angiogram. They weren't a cut and dry answer and it wasn't the answer that I wanted so I've been a little stubborn and even angry. I've repented and know that this is going to be a long journey and I've got to stop putting life on hold until it's fixed. They don't think she is ready for the fontan surgery. I've done a lot of research on this since and can see why. She is doing so much better then she was. I know they were shocked that she has improved as much as she has. I think a lot of the doctors had decided that she wasn't going to ever get the surgery, she would have to have the transplant. So the good news is they are looking at her again. Everything looks good except for her leak. It's the main thing that is holding her back from getting it so they are considering going in and trying to fix the leak. If they can fix it and everything else holds strong then she should be able to have it in the furture. She is doing so well that there is not as big of a rush to get it done. She could go years the way that she is. The medication and lack of oxygen will wear on her but she will be ok. Eventually even if she does get the Fontan surgery she will have to have a heart transplant. That was my big shocker but I know Emma could prove anyone wrong, just ask her. They are going to do a test within the next month so see if they can fix the leak and then she will probably be having a surgery this summer to fix it. She's amazing how she handles all of this and how she handles her disadvantages everyday. I'm so grateful I have her in our lives, she gives me strength everyday.