4/22/19

Emma went back for surgery shortly before 10. We had to leave at 5 this morning which meant we were up at 4. We got here around 7 and then waited...theres always waiting and waiting. Once she was admitted the process to get her ready began. Emma hates IVs and it’s always the worse part for her. They were able to get it in easily but because it’s in her hand it hurt and continued her to hurt. I’m glad she’s asleep now and can’t feel it. Each of her specialist came and talked to us and assured us they are going to watching their area to make sure it stays stable during surgery.  There was pulmonary for her lungs, EP for the pacemaker, cardio for her heart, etc. When they finally took her back it happened quickly. That’s how it works, always hurry up and wait. There’s been so many doctors appt and so much anxiety leading up to this I can’t believe we are finally here. It’s strange that this shouldn’t feel so big compared to all that she has gone through but it is. Like I’m always telling others moms when they say how hard it is when their kids are going through something they deem ‘nothing’ compared to what we’ve gone through with Emma, ‘When it comes to your kids, no matter how big or small the pain or heartache is, it’s pain and it’s hard and it hurts the same.’ 

This week has been hard to have to hear all the things that can go wrong, all the possible complication from each of her doctors. So now we sit and wait and pray all those things don’t happen and they can do their jobs the best way possible. It’s horrible to put your child’s life in the hands of others when you are the one that’s suppose to protect and take care of them. 

I’m so grateful for the comfort that come through prayer and knowing we aren’t alone in this. Yesterday was such a perfect day to prepare us for what’s ahead. Thinking about our Savior who suffered all and lived again so we don’t have to suffer alone. Thinking about how He asked if the cup could pass from Him but was willing to do what had to be done for us. I was comforted to know all the that we go through will work together for our good. What a blessing it has been to watch my family pull together and be there for each other. It’s humbling to feel the love and support of all of our family and friends. It’s an honor to see my little Emma inspire me with her strength. 

We’ve only had one update and it was that all is going well. The surgery will last at least til five so I’ll update when we hear anything.